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Related article: 52 Panhead 23 '52 Panhead Chapter 23 (there are
some pictures of Shire horses on my blog
http://qwb224.wordpress.com/ if you care to see what they look
like) From: bwnfumail.comTo: bytemeymail.com Hi uncle jeff. thanks
for the email. I went and looked at your picture. boy you do look
like me. its weird. you asked what I'm into. I like science fiction
shows but I read some books too. I have a gray and
Lolitas
Nymphets white cat named gracie but shes getting old. its
dinner time. later Brendan I read it again, shaking my head at the
lack of uppercase letters and punctuation, but glad to get a reply
from him all the same. Gracie the cat. Like Bill's horse. It was
the last Saturday in March; Evan was working this morning, but I
had made him promise to come home in time for dinner so that we
could spend the evening together. I hadn't planned on being a tax
widow and seeing him for a half hour in the morning and an hour at
night when he was exhausted. It just wasn't cutting it. But it was
just past 8am now and I had plans for the day. Chewy trotted by my
side as I went out to the barn and pulled the big doors wide open.
The old Jeep had been sitting there all this time, just waiting for
me to get to it, and today was the day. When the tarp came off, I
grinned. Sitting there was a beautiful example of a 1960 Jeep, the
chrome and pale green paint dulled by time and dust, but, near as I
could tell, completely intact down to the original valve stem caps.
I walked all the way around her, noting the dings and dents that a
life of farm use had left behind, my smile growing larger with each
step.The key was in the ignition but she'd been sitting for quite a
while, so I went through the engine, cleaning or replacing all the
important stuff. Then I wiped my hands on a rag, climbed into the
driver's seat as Chew leaped into the passenger side, and turned
the key. The little motor roared to life, idling happily as I
grinned at Chewy. I eased her into gear and drove the green Jeep
out into the light of day for the first time in I don't know how
many years. I headed off down the lane, listening for rattles or
engine knocks, but she ran great. I turned around out in the road
and was zipping back down the driveway when Chewy barked. I looked
left to see Bill waving at me from halfway across the field, so I
braked hard and pulled over. He was standing in the back of a wagon
being pulled by two unattended horses, shoveling manure off with a
rhythmic swing. By the time he had reached the fence line, I was
out of the Jeep and waiting for him. "That looks like fun," I said
with a roll of my eyes as I scratched a horse under the chin. "You
don't have to steer the horses?""I holler at 'em which way to turn,
but they pretty much know the drill after all these years." "Who's
this?" I asked, determined to get a handle on Bill's horses."Rose.
She's got the wide blaze." He pointed to the broad stripe of white
down the middle of her face, then over at the small patch on the
other horse's forehead. "Gracie just has a little star." He tipped
his chin at the Jeep. "Still runs, huh? Ed loved that Jeep.""Runs
great. Yeah, it's pretty neat."We admired it for a moment and then
a thought came to me. "Evan was cool with putting horses
Lolitas
Nymphets in our back field. Or cows. I'll fix the gate today,
so whenever..."He nodded. "I think I'll put the mares and babies
over there. Each year I breed two mares; usually keep one baby and
sell the other. You'll get a kick outta watching the youngsters.
Keep your eye out though, they'll bite or kick if they're feelin'
frisky."We chatted another minute or two, and then I motored back
to the barn and left Bill to his manure. After I re-hung the gate
to the pasture, I took another look at the run down chicken coop.
It really needed to go, but the thought of tackling it by myself
didn't do much for me, so I went in to do the final tweaks on
Sonny's computer. He hadn't been back with more eggs, but we waved
at each other a couple times a week when we'd pass on the road or
something. I planned on taking it to him this afternoon.I played a
couple hours of Call of Duty online, slaughtering bad guys left,
right, and center before breaking for lunch. Chew and I ate on the
back steps while I gazed around the property and thought about
getting Callie down here for a day of getting the garden into some
kind of shape. It was surrounded on three sides by a dilapidated
picket fence and was overrun with weeds. The fourth side was the
barn, covered in trellises that currently supported last year's
vines, brown and dead now. I really only wanted tomatoes, but I
knew Callie would go nuts with all this room to work and we'd end
up with enough produce to open a farm stand. The thought of corn
and tomatoes was enough to get me off my ass and out in the garden
with a trash can and some tools. I pulled weeds until my back
ached, stripped the trellises of the dead vines before tacking them
more firmly to the side of the barn, and pounded a few new stakes
into the ground to support the sagging fence. That used up some of
the afternoon, but it looked like a garden by the time I was
finished. Satisfied with my efforts, I hopped in and out the
shower, got dressed, and loaded Sonny's computer and Chewy into the
Jeep.He was in the front yard, puttering around in the flower bed
that sprawled across the front of the house. As I pulled in the
drive, dogs appeared from every corner of the property, crawling
out from under his truck, sprinting around the side of the house,
swarming around the Jeep like a furry ocean. Chewy growled a
greeting out the open window, the ruff on his neck standing
straight up. Sonny waved a hand and waded through the dogs to toss
a bag onto my seat."More salad fixin's," he explained. He peered
into the box I handed him, which contained a keyboard, mouse and
monitor, and speakers, plus all the cables. "I got all this stuff,"
he protested. "All I need's a computer.""If all your stuff's ten
years old, it won't even work with this new computer. Everything's
USB now. Or wireless.""US what?""The type of plug. Your old stuff
has the wrong kind of plugs. I'm not charging you for this stuff
anyway, so don't worry about it." I opened Chewy's door to let him
hop out, watching for a moment to be sure he was welcome. I picked
up his new CPU and another box of tools and `just-in-case stuff' I
thought I might need."I got money," he muttered, leading the way to
the house. I hadn't paid much attention to his house as I'd driven
past, so I looked around now, taking in the fresh white paint, the
green shutters and trim. It was a one-story ranch, larger than I'd
thought at first since it was deeper than it was wide, extending
back past a two-car garage that sat at the end of the drive. The
inside was a surprise. Instead of the musty decades-old plaid
couches and dime store wall art that I had sort of expected, the
living room contained a matching couch, loveseat and chair in a
dusky brown floral print. The various tables held a comfortable
clutter of magazines, potted plants, and what appeared to be a
partially knitted sweater. But the walls were the real surprise. No
family pictures here, no landscapes or bowls of fruit; the rusted
metal and worn wood of old tools and farm implements hung on the
white walls, forming a rustic yet very appealing display that
suited the room perfectly. Within the curve of
Lolitas
Nymphets an old sickle blade he had mounted a graduated set of
old metal scissors, from
Lolitas Nymphets a small set not
three inches long to a great big pair of what looked to
Lolitas Nymphets me like sheep shearing scissors.
Three hammers made a vertical line separating several old saws from
a row of wooden hand planes on a shelf."Most all a them's from
right here on this farm. Old stuff my daddy used. Some's from
Bill's place.""It's great. I never woulda thought to do somethin'
like this.""Becky give me the idea one day. She had old kitchen
stuff... ya know, hand crank egg beaters, wooden scoops, that kinda
stuff on her kitchen walls and I always admired it. She said `just
use what you got,' so I did.""Very nice."He bobbed his head once in
acknowledgement before turning right into a large sunny room full
of books. Books on shelves, stacks of books on the floor, more
books on the huge desk that crouched in the center of the room.
Among the piles of paperbacks stood a computer, its ancient 15"
monitor taking up way more room than the flat screen would that I'd
brought along. "Anything in this computer you want to keep....
pictures, stories... other stuff?""Yeah, maybe there is..."It
didn't take long to download the few things he had onto my spare
hard drive, and then we shut down his old machine for the last
time.When I walked around to start unplugging everything, the sight
of the almost completely clogged fan grill made me snort."What?"
Sonny asked, walking to me."You ever dust back here?""Nope.
Instructions didn't say nothin' about dustin'.""Well, once a month
or so, run the vacuum hose over the back of the computer. Keeps all
that shit from clogging things up inside."When I put the new 19"
flat screen on the desk, Sonny's eyebrows shot up and a grin spread
across his face. "Wow," he said, leaning over to look into the
blank screen. "Big.""You'll love it after that little thing. And
the picture's way better." I plugged the final power cord in. "Turn
'er on."As Windows powered up and the opening notes played, Sonny's
smile got bigger. I transferred his old data, a few contacts,
walked him through the new version of Outlook, and got him hooked
up to the net before turning it over to him. "Call me if you get
stuck," I said as I left him
Lolitas Nymphets surfing
YouTube for Frank Sinatra songs. Outside, Chewy and the pack were
no where in sight, so I started up the Jeep and honked the horn a
few times. After a minute or so, I began to hear barking and a few
moments later, about twenty dogs careened around the corner of the
house and sprinted down the driveway toward me. Chewy was in the
lead, tongue flapping out one side of his mouth, with Sonny's
motley bunch hot on his heels. I opened the door when they got
near, and then had to spend another few minutes ejecting the extra
dogs who had leaped in behind Chew. By the time I was down to only
the one I arrived with, I was laughing out loud, shaking my head at
Sonny and his mutts. It was almost five by the time I got home, so
I flopped on the couch with a book, but the house was quiet and I
didn't make it two pages before I dozed off. As I was dreaming of
fresh sweet corn and BLTs made from our own tomatoes, I heard
Evan's car crunch up the drive and went out to meet him. He was
stretching, arms reaching for the sky as his shirt tail pulled out
of his trousers, and I grinned when he dropped both hands to pound
his chest, Tarzan-style, yodeling out a crazy yell. "I'm home!" he
hollered, as Chewy ran circles around him, barking madly, excited
by his voice. When I got near, he grabbed me up in a big hug,
lifting me off my feet for a second. "Only two more weeks," he
said, as he pulled his shirt the rest of the way out of his pants
to scratch his chest. I got his briefcase from the car and we went
inside.I turned Sonny's lettuce into big salads while Evan made
garlic bread and poured two glasses of wine. That was pretty much
it for the evening. We lounged through dinner as I related my visit
to Sonny's house. "I counted at
Lolitas Nymphets least twelve
dogs this time. And I think he knits.""Well, that football player,
Rosey Grier, did cross-stitch," Evan countered.We took more wine to
the front porch while Chewy scampered around chasing bugs, and then
ended the evening with a couple hours of Ken Burns' Civil War
documentary. Sunday morning I was awake before Evan, and wandered
into the kitchen to get coffee started and maybe make the coffee
cake recipe in Maggie's cookbook. It had a star next to it, but
whether it was Evan's doing or Maggie's, I didn't know. As I
grabbed the pot and walked to the sink, a glance out the window
stopped me short. Two of Bill's horses were slowing grazing their
way along the fence between the field and our back yard, and
cavorting about on long, clunky legs, were two miniature versions.
They were kicking up their heels and dashing around the mares,
playful as puppies. I was totally absorbed in their antics when I
felt a hand on my shoulder and about jumped out of my socks."Fuck!
You scared the shit outta me. Look." I pointed out the window where
the babies were now trying to eat grass, their front legs spraddled
wide apart to get their noses low enough. As I leaned against the
counter, Evan leaned against my back and propped his chin on my
shoulder as we watched them for a few minutes. When one of them got
bored with the grass and hopped straight up into the air like a
cat, Evan laughed. "Let's go say hi."As we approached the fence,
the mares lifted their heads, and then began a slow amble to meet
us. As we got close, I saw that Bill had hung their halters on a
post, along with a handwritten note on the back of a feed store
receipt for 200 bales of alfalfa. Here's Thelma (white star) with
Max and big gray Tess with Linda. Tess was State Grand Champion two
year old 12 years ago. Last time I had her to the fair, she weighed
2157lbs. The mares are real friendly and like carrots, but don't
feed the foals anything. Thelma did indeed have a white star and
looked pretty much like Gracie to me, but dark gray Tess was huge.
Now that they were at the fence and the babies had paired up with
their mothers, I could see that Max was much darker than Linda.
Evan jogged back into the house for some carrots while I talked to
the horses. Having all four of them peering at me from a few feet
away was a bit intimidating, but Bill said they were friendly. The
mares eyed the carrot bag like they knew exactly what was in it,
tossing their heads impatiently while Evan handed me a couple.I
broke off a chunk of carrot and held it out to Tess, who snatched
it out of my hand while leaving behind a gooey smear of green slime
flecked with bits of chewed grass. "Gross," Evan said and wrinkled
his nose at me right before Thelma did the same thing to him."Just
wipe it on the grass," I told him as I gave Tess another piece. The
satisfying crunch of their huge teeth grinding up the carrot
brought a smile to my face. After a third piece, I stepped close
enough to pet Max, moving slowly until I had a hand on his neck. I
had just started scratching him when he whipped his head around and
clamped his front teeth onto my arm. I yelled and swung my free
hand at him, scattering horses left and right, but he had let go
immediately. "Son of a bitch! That sneaky little fucker," I growled
as Evan peeled back my sleeve."Ouch," Evan said as he inspected the
matched set of upper and lower teeth marks on my forearm. "That's
gonna leave a nice bruise." We went back in the house, where I iced
my arm while Evan made coffee. I didn't know it then, but Max had
just scored the first point in what would become a year-long war
between the two of us. As the coffee brewed, we walked out the lane
to get the paper. Good thing I hadn't gotten around to the coffee
cake, because Ellen, the mailman's wife, had left us a couple more
muffins, banana pecan this time according to her note. We ate one
walking back to the house, but managed to save the other to have
with our coffee. Since neither of us went to church regularly, we
used Sunday mornings to get caught up with each other, a chance to
talk when we weren't tired or distracted. This Sunday we climbed
back in bed, leaning back against the headboard with lots of
pillows and the Sunday paper spread over our laps. In a definitive
comment about our personalities and priorities, I grabbed the
funnies while Evan opened the financial section, but he let it drop
to his legs after a few minutes."You're happy with me, aren't you?"
It almost sounded like a statement, but there was a hint of
question at the end. I turned slowly to look at him, astounded that
he would ask such a thing, but he was gazing down at the lumps his
made feet under the quilt. "Actually, I don't mean happy," he
continued. "I mean... content, I guess. Comfortable."I stared at
him without replying until he looked at me. His expression was
neutral, like he had just asked me if I wanted Swiss or cheddar on
my sandwich rather than a leading question like `are you happy,' a
question that made my stomach tighten with apprehension."Yes, I'm
happy with you. I'm also content and comfortable." I paused, but he
just looked at me. "Why?""Just asking.""Jesus, Evan - you don't
`just ask' a question like that." I tried to keep my voice level.
"You're not?"He looked away to put his coffee cup on the night
stand, and then turned to face me sitting with his legs crossed
Indian style. As he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees,
all I could think was `oh fuck.' When he finally got settled, he
picked up one of my hands, holding it between both of his, and
brought it to his mouth for a kiss."Yes, of course I am. Don't get
all rattled. I'm very happy. And comfortable and content." He
paused, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out where he was
going with this. "My mom and dad's anniversary reminder popped up
in Outlook yesterday, and it just got me thinking, that's all.
Thirty years." He laced the fingers of one hand into mine and ran
the other up my arm to the crook of my elbow, then back down as he
talked. "Thirty fuckin' years. That's a long time. Longer than... I
am old." Another thoughtful pause. "You and I are just coming up on
our first year, and that got me imagining our thirty year
anniversary. You'll be 62, as old as Sonny and Becky.""And Callie,
she's around there somewhere.""And I'll be 57. God, that seems so
far from now."I pulled him to me as I slid down the bed, shoving
the covers out of the way, needing the comfort of his body to ease
the knot of tension his question had lodged in my gut. Evan
stretched out on his side next to me, one leg across mine, his soft
cock mushed against my hip as he rested his head on my arm. As I
held the back of his neck, he skimmed his fingertips across my
six-pack, down my belly, and wrapped them around my balls."God, I
love your body," he mumbled into my armpit. "Like something out of
a magazine."I smiled as he released my nuts to tap a finger firmly
on my abs, clicking his tongue like he was knocking on wood. Tick,
tick, tick. "Cocks R Us?" I asked, getting a chuckle from Evan. "I
gotta get my ass back to the gym before I get fat. I found one that
day we had lunch with Kathryn, next door to the deli."But Evan
wasn't listening. He was tickling my chest with the tip of his
tongue, swirling it in circles and then licking across my hardening
nipple with long, wet laps that made me suck my breath in. I lifted
my head a little, watching the quivering string of spit that hung
from his open mouth as he raised his head to look at me. His eyes
were dark and hungry, meeting mine with an intensity that tightened
my gut in an altogether different way than his original question
had."Fuck..." I breathed at the sight of him, seeing the bounce of
my stiffening cock from the corner of my eye."Ok," he agreed with a
smile as he lowered his mouth back to my nipple. I lay back and
closed my eyes, floating along on the tide of sensations created by
Evan's mouth and hands, my fingers buried in his hair. He worked
his way all around my chest and stomach, tugging at the hairs with
his lips, nuzzling his nose into my bellybutton. Occasionally, he
made a foray up my neck to suck on my earlobe, sliding his tongue
along my mouth as he moved to the other one. He never touched my
cock until the end, rolling me toward him and grasping me with a
slick hand, stroking me off as he kissed me deeply and rolled a
nipple in his fingers. I had to break the kiss when my face
contorted with the first shot, panting hard against his chest as
the orgasm rolled through me."Nnh... nnh... nnh," I grunted through
clenched teeth. "Uhhh, Jesus."A few minutes later, after Evan wiped
me up with a handful of tissues, I nibbled my way down his lean,
pale body to where his cock lay on his belly. He'd softened by
then, so I had the pleasure of feeling him respond to my mouth.
Honestly, I could suck cock all afternoon. Evan's, anyway.
Everything about it was a turn-on � the velvety
texture against my lips, the firm yet resilient consistency of him
in my hand, the slurpy sounds of suction as my mouth moved up and
down on him, his little moans of pleasure, his hand wandering
through my hair. And the smell of him. More than anything else
about him � and there were plenty of things I
liked - a good whiff of Evan's balls hardened my cock like nothing
else. I'd never had much of an underwear fetish, preferring the
actual man to his dirty clothes, but I have to admit to
occasionally sniffing Evan's shorts before dropping them into the
washer. Cheap thrills...I kept him on the edge for a while,
enjoying the hitch in his breathing when he thought I was going to
let him go and then realized I wasn't. When I finally did keep
going, I could tell he kept expecting me to stop, holding back,
tightening his belly in an effort to stave off his orgasm. At some
point he figured it out and began to thrust in concert with my
mouth and hand, his hand now clamped painfully into my hair. I
pulled off as he began to shoot, watching him spew cum all over the
place as I worked him by hand. His was a classic O face
� eyes scrunched closed, mouth open, head
straining back into
Lolitas Nymphets the pillow. I spread
his cum smoothly over his stomach, chuckling as I wrote `I L Y'
upside down in it."What're you doin'?" he asked weakly, lifting his
head to see. "Oh. I love you, too, but you're gonna kill me
someday, making me wait like that.""You know when I bitch about
somethin', you always say, `it's good for you, it teaches you
control'." I mimicked him, speaking in the serious lawyerly tone he
used when he was telling me something he felt was for my own good.
He laughed. "Do I really sound like that?""Yes. Makes me feel like
a kid getting a lecture from his dad." But I said it with a grin so
he'd know I was kidding. "Come on, let's get going."The rest of the
day we just bummed around the Farm, planning what kind of
vegetables we wanted to plant when Callie visited, walking back
Lolitas Nymphets to the dog cemetery with bread
for the birds and peanuts for the squirrels. It was a good day, the
kind of day we hadn't had in a while, and it did what it was meant
to do � get us back in synch with one another.
By the time Evan fired up the grill for dinner, we were smiling
each time our eyes met - which was a lot - and touching whenever we
got near each other. "Should we celebrate it somehow?" Evan asked
as he topped off our wine glasses. "Our anniversary?""Sure. What do
you wanna do?""I don't know. Go somewhere. Throw a party.""No
party," I said, shaking my head. I didn't want to share our first
anniversary with anyone but Evan. "We could ride up into the
mountains. To the waterfall."Evan considered that for a minute.
"Yeah..." he said with a nod. "That sounds good. Back to where it
all began.""Well, it all began in the garage, but the waterfall's a
lot more romantic.""This time we'll take a blanket so I don't get
dead leaves up my ass.""You did not," I laughed."I did too. You
didn't notice me scrubbing away at my butt when we washed off in
the river?""I was too busy looking at your dick, thinking about all
the things I wanted to do with it."Evan smiled at me then, one of
those radiant smiles that had as much to do with his eyes as his
mouth. "I knew it was you when I heard the Pan pull into the
parking lot. I could barely stand still waiting for you to find me.
Almost ran down the trail shrieking `I'm here, I'm here!!!'""You
heard the bike? You never told me that. I couldn't fuckin' believe
it was you. When you turned around and looked at me over your
shoulder... I remember my heart going ka-thunk and then pounding so
hard I thought my head would explode." Evan was still watching me
with that beautiful smile on his face. "I love you, Evan."His smile
widened. "And I love you." He was quiet for a moment, studying my
face as his smile faded. "Do you think we'll make it thirty
years?"Instead of over-reacting and wondering why he thought we
wouldn't, I put my hand over his where it lay on the table and gave
him back the wonderful smile he'd given me. "Of course we will.
Only twenty-nine more to go - piece a cake."He grinned back at me
for a second, then got up and came around the table, pulling me to
my feet as he wrapped his arms around me. He didn't say anything
more, just held me close for a long time, one hand moving slowly up
and down my back as the other lightly gripped the back of my neck.
Our chests pressed together, then apart, as we breathed, and Evan's
thigh was firm between mine, nudging my groin gently when he
shifted his weight.Hugs are really under-rated, in my opinion. If
you do it right, there's so much going on. One of Evan's full-body
hugs made me feel like we could make it a hundred and thirty years.
We cleaned up dinner before wandering onto the back porch. Tess and
Thelma and their long-legged offspring were about halfway back the
field, still grazing. I guess when you weigh a ton, and all you eat
is grass, you need to eat a lot of it. Max and Linda were nursing,
their broomy little tails swishing furiously as they butted hard
with their noses. The weather was warming up, and we lounged out
there until it was dark. Chewy chased fireflies for a while before
flopping down on the step with his chin on my shoe."So, only
another couple weeks of taxes, huh?" I knew Evan was practically
foaming at the mouth to be done with the corporate side of the law
firm."Yeah." He stretched his legs out and rotated his ankles.
"Then it's the Center's turn." He stared off across the meadow for
a minute, and then spoke softly. "You suppose anybody'll come?"I
glanced at him, but his face was in shadow. It was unlike Evan to
doubt his business decisions, so this was out of character for him,
and to actually say something about it meant it was really
bothering him. "You know they will. Patterson needs something like
this.""Yeah, I know," he said again, heaving a sigh. "It'll be
fine. Kathryn's got everything ready to go." He turned to me. "Your
thing with Kenny's going good, huh? You happy with it, working with
someone else?"I nodded. "We have a good time. It's not like selling
washing machines or something, you know? It's creative, and each
job's a little different. Keeps me from gettin' bored."Evan was
quiet for a bit. Then, "There's a Thoreau mis-quote - most men lead
lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still
in them."
Lolitas Nymphets He paused. "And go to the grave
with the song still in them," he repeated slowly, giving each word
equal weight. "I don't wanna do that. I wanna sing." He looked at
me, holding my eyes with his intent gaze. "That's why I had to open
the Center. I need to sing."I reached out to touch his arm. "You
will, Evan," I assured him. "You'll be great at it." He turned back
to the darkness as the last glow of the setting sun winked out.
"I'll damn sure try," he said quietly.He fell silent then, lost in
thought. I scratched Chewy's head and studied Evan's profile until
he sighed and turned to me with a tired smile. "Ready for some
mindless TV?""Sure."But Evan didn't watch much of the movie he
chose. He made it through the first twenty minutes or so before
sliding down and turning to face me so that he was lying against me
with one arm around my back and the other resting on my chest. When
I tipped my head down to rub my cheek across his hair, he gave a
quiet `mmm' and snuggled closer. The movie ended at eleven, and we
were in bed by 11:10. We headed out at the same time the next
morning, Evan to another day of taxes and me to Kenny's for another
day of putering. But I had a surprise up my sleeve, and when lunch
time rolled around, I got up from the keyboard."Come on, we're
goin' out to lunch.""We are? Are we meeting someone? Should I
change?" He was wearing his usual sweat pants and t-shirt."Nope,
you're good."I was an old hand at getting him transferred to the
Jeep now. The first couple times I'd been afraid of hurting him
somehow, and I almost dumped him on his ass in the driveway one
day, but by the third or fourth time, I had the hang of it. I
tossed his chair in the back, Chewy jumped on his lap, and we
zipped off down the road to my place. Kenny glanced at me a couple
times, but
Lolitas Nymphets I just smiled at him. Ed's old
green Jeep was sitting just this side of the gate to the field. I
pulled around next to it facing the other direction so that Kenny
could just slide across in to the other vehicle. Then I loaded up
his chair, opened the gate, drove the Jeep through, and closed it
behind me.The horses were grazing at the back of the field, and
threw their heads up to see what was going on when they heard the
Jeep. I drove slowly along, keeping one eye out for gopher holes,
and the other on the horses that had begun walking this way.
"Where'd you get horses?""Farmer next door's using our field.""Are
they as big as they look from here?" Kenny asked as he watched them
pick up the pace to a trot."Bigger," I assured him. "They're
huge."Tess realized we were going to reach the gate to the creek
before she reached us, so she broke into a lumbering lope. The
other three followed suit, galloping across the meadow as the long
hair around their ankles waved in the breeze, looking like
something out of a beer commercial. Just when I thought they were
gonna run us over, they jolted to a stop and walked up to see if we
had any carrots."Jesus," Kenny breathed, staring at the mares whose
backs were higher than our heads while Chewy scrambled down to the
safety of the floorboards at my feet. "The little black one bites,
but the big ones are friendly," I told Kenny as Tess loomed over
him, her huge head a foot from his face. I reached into the cooler
I'd stashed in the Jeep that morning and pulled out a bag of carrot
chunks. "Here. Hold it flat in your palm."He did as I said,
grinning when Thelma's soft warm lips plucked it from his hand. We
fed the mares until the carrots were gone. Thelma was only
interested in eating, but Tess kept her head in Kenny's lap while
she chewed, eyes closed, allowing him to pat her face as she
dribbled slobbery carrot bits on his sweats. I kept an eye on Max
and Linda, but they were investigating the tires of the Jeep,
giving them a bite now and then, and left us alone. After Kenny fed
Tess the last carrot chunk, I hopped out and shooed the horses away
so that I could open the gate without them escaping. As
Lolitas Nymphets we drove through, Max came
trotting back to see what was going on, but I leaped out of the
Jeep and got the gate closed just before he reached it. Kenny gazed
around as I navigated between the trees, heading roughly for the
clearing by the creek. It was a beautiful day, clear and sunny, and
the forest was green with leafing trees, and noisy with birdsong.
I'd been looking forward to getting Kenny back here since Raf had
commented on it during our walk over the holidays. I eased to a
stop at the edge of the clearing and got Kenny's chair unfolded at
the side of the Jeep. "You should be able to get around on this
stuff, huh?" I asked him, waving a hand at the fairly firm mat of
fallen leaves and pine needles that covered the packed earth of the
clearing."Yeah, no problem," he replied as he moved a few feet
toward the fire circle of rocks before stopping to look around.
"It's as pretty as Raf said it was. I wondered where you
Lolitas Nymphets were taking me..."We investigated
the creek, moving downstream until we came to a log Kenny couldn't
get around. Back at the clearing, I unpacked lunch from the cooler
and we dined al fresco with a couple curious squirrels for company.
As we were finishing off the brownies, he sighed and smiled at
me."Before the accident, the four of us spent as much time outdoors
as we did in, rambling around the woods by Evan's house. We'd ride
our bikes back as far as we could until the trees got too thick,
then hike back to the river." He was quiet for a few moments,
remembering. "There was this clearing at the bottom of a steep
little hill. We called it Sleepy Hollow." He chuckled. "Real
original, huh? Sometimes we'd camp out. Haul all our shit
� sleeping bags, coolers, fishing poles
� back there and stay for a couple days."As I
watched him, he stared past me off into the woods, his mind a dozen
years back, in a different clearing with Rafael and Evan and Luke.
Despite the fact that we worked together five days a week, we
rarely talked about personal stuff. He was much easier to be casual
friends with than Rafael, and I was more relaxed around him, but I
didn't feel that I knew him as well. Intense and touchy though he
was, once Raf decided to commit to a friendship, you knew it. Since
our shower and subsequent talk in my kitchen, I'd run into him a
couple times when Raf got home before I left their place. He always
greeted me with a physical gesture of some kind
� an arm around my neck that brought our faces
together, a quick kiss on the cheek as he leaned down between Kenny
and me in the office � and his attitude toward
me now was warm and friendly.Kenny, on the other hand, was smiling
and agreeable pretty much all the time. If he was ever in a shitty
mood, I never saw it. He was quiet occasionally and sometimes hours
passed where we exchanged only a handful of words, but until this
afternoon, he had never seemed depressed or regretful. Evan had
said that Kenny was the most well-adjusted of the three of them.
Watching him now, his forehead wrinkled in a frown, his jaw tight,
I wondered what it had cost him.After several moments, his face
cleared and he looked at me. "People get so used to me being in a
chair that they forget that I used to walk around and do things
that I can't do now. It doesn't occur to them that maybe I still
miss it. I mean, you get resigned to it... but you never forget how
it felt to go in for a lay-up," he waved a hand around the
clearing, "or take a walk in the woods." "Raf mentioned it to me
back at Christmas. That he wished you could see the creek."He
smiled. "Did he?" After a while, we packed up lunch and went back
to work, but our conversation stuck with me and during a late
dinner a couple nights later, I told Evan about our lunch by the
creek. When I mentioned the part about people taking Kenny's
disability for granted, he stopped eating and stared at me. Then he
looked away as he finished his mouthful of meatloaf."He's right,"
he said, his voice so low I could hardly hear him. "I do forget...
Not forget. I mean, he's right there in the chair, but I forget
what it must be like for him." He paused, gazing unfocused into his
green beans for a moment before looking up at me. "That was a
really good thing you did. Thanks."I shrugged a shoulder. "No big
deal. I remembered Rafael saying he wished Kenny could see it.""I
heard him, too," he said in a tight voice, "but I didn't do
anything about it."I held his eyes as I thought about what Raf had
said � that Evan felt guilty at being the only
one who wasn't still suffering the consequences of the crash. Very
carefully, mindful of my tone of voice, I told him, "They don't
hold it against you, you know. Not at all."He flushed then, his
face and neck going a dull red as he shoved back from the table
hard enough to tip his chair over. "What the hell do you know about
it?" he asked me. I sat there, my mouth hanging open in shock, as
he banged out the back door. This was an area Evan and I had never
discussed � the first few months after the
accident � and it was obviously a lot more
sensitive than I had ever suspected. Rafael had said just enough to
let me know that Evan's physical injuries during that time were
less an issue than his mental and emotional problems. I righted
Evan's chair and slowly cleaned up dinner, scraping the remains of
his meatloaf into the trash with a heavy heart, trying to decide
how to approach him, what I could possibly say. When I joined him,
he was sitting on the top step, staring into the night. I sat down
a couple feet away, giving him room, fully intending to apologize,
but he reached for my hand, squeezing tight as he beat me to it.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting that." "It's ok.""No, it's not.
You're the one person who should be able to talk to me about
anything without gettin' your head ripped off." He was quiet for a
few moments, rubbing his thumb across the back of my hand. "After
the shock of Luke being dead eased up a little, I started wishing
I'd been hurt worse. Something horrible enough that I'd feel even
with what Raf and Kenny were dealing with. That's pretty common,
according to the shrink, and when I got the cast off, I limped a
lot more than I really needed to whenever I was around them cause
it didn't feel right to be pretty much ok when they were so fucked
up." He turned to look at me. "But you're right. I know they don't
hold it against me. It's all up here." He tapped the side of his
head."Ah, Evan." I sighed in frustration. "I hate it when you
hurt.... when it's something I can't do anything about."He tugged
on my hand until I closed up the space between us, tucking my arm
under his so that he could slide a hand around my thigh. "You have
no idea how much difference you've made in my Lolitas Nymphets
life, do you? When you do something like take Kenny back to the
creek... this is gonna make me sound like a total girl... it puts a
lump in my throat." He paused for a second to swallow hard. Then he
turned to look at me. "I know you like to come off as this bad-ass
biker or something, all `fuck this' and `fuck that,' but you're
probably the most thoughtful person I know when it comes to doin'
stuff for your friends. I'm a lucky man to have met you."I stared
back at him, fighting the lump in my own throat, when Chewy whined
at the back door. It broke the tension, and when Evan stood up, I
followed his lead."Let's go to bed," he said. "I got another long
day of outwitting Uncle Sam ahead of me."My mind was still on the
back porch as we got ready for bed, tumbling through the things
Evan had said to me. Long after he was sound asleep and his grip on
my arm had loosened, I finally realized that falling in love with
Evan had changed me for the better, allowing the softer side of me
to flourish in the safe environment of our healthy relationship. I
knew the truth then � I was the lucky one.
Thanks for reading. Ch 24 out in 2 or 3 weeks. Got a comment?
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